Ext.On a street in New York, America. Late Afternoon.
(Snowing)KIM pulls out her phone and texts her husband that she is finished shopping and is going to start to go home. She whistles for a taxi to come, the taxi pulls up next to her.
KIM
45, Anchor Avenue please...
TAXI DRIVER (BILL)
Sure hop in.
KIM places all her Christmas shopping into the taxi and sits in the back seat.
TAXI DRIVER (BILL)
So what’s a lady like you doing out on such a cold afternoon?
KIM
Christmas shopping for the kids, this holiday seems to be costing more and more!
KIM laughs and so does the TAXI DRIVER (BILL.)
TAXI DRIVER (BILL)
I know that feeling! The names BILL and yours?
KIM
Nice to meet you BILL, I’m KIM.
BILL smiles at KIM in the window. KIMS phone starts to ring. She answers.
KIM
Hey, yeah I’m on my way home, I’m just at... Sorry BILL where are we?
BILL
..............
KIM
BILL? That was my turning?!
Muffled sound of the HUSBAND on the phone starting to yell...
KIM
BILL?!? Where are you taking me that was my turning!?!
BILL starts accelerating and turns down an deserted corner.
KIM
BILL, please your scaring me! Take me home please!
KIM starts to cry. The car stops, BILL reaches back and grabs the phone that KIM is clutching, but she won’t let go.
BILL
Give me the phone! NOW!
KIM gives him the phone and he throws it out the window smashing it on the floor.
KIM
Why, why are you doing this! Please take me home my kids they need me! My husband! Oh my husband he’ll be so worried! He’ll call the police! Take me back now, I’ll stop him... I promise! Please, take me back! Please BILL! PLEASEEEE!
KIM at this point is sobbing. BILL just smiles and watches her through the mirror, just before speeding off again.
KIM
BILL..? BILL? Please take me home, it’s getting dark!
BILL
Shut up NOW!
My comment:This work is not finished and is still a working process, I used all the rules like names in capitals and dialouge and actions alligned but this doesn't show on the blog because of problems which I don't know however Sir knows about this...
Working process....
Same comment as the other script really. Just make sure you include information about the action we see too. This one has more action - just always think about what we see on screen.
ReplyDeleteBut it's just a tiny tiny tiny complaint. It's brilliant work. Well done!
Mr Monahan
Distinction
Same as the other script this script looks messy and all over the place but this has been fixed. I also could add more action instead of just speaking. Although I think this script has more action then the other script.
ReplyDelete